This Is For All The Marbles!

After careful calculation, I decided I need to be a little more savvy (not to be confused with sassy). Now I know what you might be thinking...I want to be savvy just because it is a neat-o word. Maybe. Nonetheless, I would like to be some sort of savvy, but not sure what.

A few ideas I might savvy up on:
1. Computer savvy - I did finally learn control+alt+delete is much better than unplugging and running from the computer...might be on my way yet!

2. Savvy shopper - Not even a clue on where to start with this one. I know I have to know how to look for deals or something like that??? Or is it bargain well? Hmmm.

3. Bank investment savvy - How I long to be asked, "Hubert, what's in your portfolio?" and both know what the H that means AND have a savvy answer!

Gravity...Keeps Us Grounded

Soooooooo last night - I dropped my phone into a cup of water. On accident. How, you might ask, does a cellular telephone end up in a red cellophane cup of water? The same way my favorite pen ended up in the toilet earlier this week. G-R-A-V-I-T-Y.

Now bear with me...this post will contain valuable information if you stick with it!

At the time of the drop, I was on the phone with one of my patient friends telling him about a dream I had. I had been dying to tell someone about this dream, but he is the only one I have left that will listen to my dreams anymore. I was getting to the good part where the alligator started chasing me through the roses that started turning into purple monkeys when fate intervened and PLOP!

Now that I got an audience for the end of my dream, I will pass along the valuable information...if you drop your phone in water, take it apart, dry it off as well as possible, then put it in a container of uncooked rice for at least 24 hours. It works. CLICK HERE!

Say What??!!

I am thinking of giving up my American Idol habit.

American Idol - As you probably can imagine, I am a faithful viewer, and have been for years. I think I single-handedly got Clay Aiken to the finals via my relentless redial voting method. The "Paula Years" as I like to call the time in my life with Paula Abdul in it...they were magical.

But lately, things just haven't felt the same....

On a separate but related note, have you ever realized you have been watching television for an extended period of time at a very high volume level? I have.

3!

My three words for today to describe: my weekend plans, feelings about my new decision to diet, pollen, people that eat apples in front of me, recurring dreams, and last but not least...Ricky Martin.

1. Move when prodded
2. Will not last
3. Trees little revenge
4. Death to you
5. Had one again
6. Rat Pack Leader (wait, or is that Dean Martin?)

Sink, Swim, or Something In between

I can clearly see the marker measuring whether or not I was tall enough to ride the fair ride. Ohhh, that little creepy pirate holding up his hand telling me I had to be, "This high, matey." The thrill of passing the height test; quickly to be ruined by sheer terror of a rickety pirate ship ride. A piece of me longs for more creepy pirate signs in my life. You know, to let me know when it is okay to do something, but no promises I will like it.

This high, matey.

(obviously feeling a bit reflective today, please excuse me)

I Decided To Take On the Day, Only To Want It Off a Few Minutes Later

If a caring soul were to say right now to me, “How was your day Hubert?” My reply would be, “I am very unsure.” I really am. During an interoffice phone conversation today I was told, “Hubert, you can really be difficult to work with sometimes.” To which I replied, “Hmmmmm.” I of course could not see his face (no interoffice skyping), only do a weight calculation on the tone of voice for whether or not he was joking – result was inconclusive. Inconclusive will have to suffice. I do not want to know.

If I may be honest…………….Now, I do not wish to be difficult in any respect. Especially when time and dollars are involved. Yet, I also don’t really have the urge to take necessary steps to become “easy” either.

Hmmmmm.

Count Me IN

It has been requested by my country for me to complete and mail back a Census form. I have my unopened Census questionnaire here in front of me. I just haven't been able to decide on the proper time to count myself. To be somebody!

And I hate to get all "Andy Rooney" on you friends, but I couldn't help but notice something on the envelope. It reads, "Your response to the U.S. Census Bureau is required by law." Now I ponder how this might be enforced on people the government may or may not know exist? But I shall not test the magicians lurking in the U.S. government.